


Remember Me

by Awssanfilippo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Complete, Different time periods, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), HEA, POV Multiple, Pacific Northwest, Pining, Safe For Work, Slow Burn, Twitter Prompt, don't know where I'm going with this yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25299901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awssanfilippo/pseuds/Awssanfilippo
Summary: This was inspired from @anora_knox 's prompt on twitter: Modern reincarnation au where Ben remembers everything and their force bond is fully intact but Rey doesn’t remember him because she closed herself off from the force when he died.I am in LOVE with the idea of Ben chasing after Rey in every life, and longing to finally be with her. Here is what I thought of when I was trying to map this out for myself. I don't have a definite plan for this fic, but this is just my general ideas.Located in the PNW (Pacific Northwest, more specifically Oregon), because Rey hates the desert so of course she would be in the most lush and green place possible. She owns a book store.Kylo/Ben, only goes by Ben now so that maybe Rey will be able to find him. He remembers everything, obvi. He’s been living in New York as a lawyer and he has been searching for her again. They’ve had multiple past lives together and he always ends up dying first, usually trying to save her. They’d had some kind of battle or hardship in every life and are finally “relaxing”. He's got to find her and get her to remember who she is, and more importantly that they are meant to be together.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Reylo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 36





	1. I've Found You

**Author's Note:**

> I was planning of this being longer, and there eventually being smutt but I am honestly out of ideas with this story. So as of right now I am going to consider it complete. I removed the tags for smutt and lowed the rating because its pretty clean.

He was scrolling on his phone to try to pass time on the subway while making his way home. His breath caught in his chest. He’d just about given up on finding her in this time. The world was so large now. Who knew where she’d be. But she was right there. Her bright smiling face framed by a dark green hood from a raincoat. She was on a rocky beach, surrounded by friends also trying to squeeze into the frame. He tapped the screen and it took him to the post. _Successful road trip with the best of friends_ said the caption. She was at least within driving distance of this place. Luckily she’d tagged the location. _Harris Beach State Park_ , the small front under the username read. He tapped again and it took him to a map with a little red pin stuck into the coast close to the boarder between Oregon and California. He went back and tapped the username. It was her alright. _Rey Brown, 25, PNW_ was listed as the biography followed by some generic quote. It also stated that she was the proud owner of Evergreen Books. He scrolled her profile a little, eager to learn as much as possible.

  
There were pictures of her alone and with friends out in nature. At lakes, rivers, waterfalls, surrounded by towering pines, and in a field with a snow capped mountain in the distance. These were mixed in with pictures of the lush green destinations, hazy pictures of her morning coffee and a book, a view from what was either her book store or her home, and the other usual pictures. Food, major life events, and the occasional selfie. He tapped on a few pictures to see if they also had a location tagged. Most were in or around some place called Hood River, a town sandwiched between two national parks. He smiled to himself. She looked happy. She’d always hated the desert, and it made sense that she would find herself in some place so wet and green. She deserved to be that happy, he thought as his smile faded. Was it worth the risk? Every time he’d found her again was when everything started to go down hill for them. It was partially lucky that she couldn’t remember, he thought. He had to at least see her once, after that he’d keep his distance. Surely there was a need for lawyers on the west coast so the move shouldn’t be so hard.

  
When he got home, he plopped down at his desk and powered up the computer. First things first was to check his savings account. He’d been putting money away for this very reason. He knew some day he’d have to leave. Next was the apartment search. His eyes grew wide when he saw what was available. For the just about half of what he was paying now he could rent a 4 bedroom house. Overwhelmed by the options he decided on a hotel for now. That would be better if he ended up having to come back anyway. He typed up an email to his partner at the office, explaining that a family emergency had come up and he was going to be away for a while and didn’t know when he’d be back. He apologized and asked if he could take over on his cases for now, including all the needed files in the email. Next was a flight. There was one leaving out of JFK around 10 am the next day. Figuring that would give him enough time to pack and make the other arrangements, he booked a seat. He packed his suitcase and called a hotel near her book store to make a reservation. “How long will you be staying with us?” The kind lady on the other end had asked. “Um, do you guys offer any week to week arrangements? I’m not sure how long I’ll need to be in town.” She told him that he’d be in for a week for now and they would extend his reservation as needed. He’d worry about the rest later he told himself as he showered before bed. This new age they were in had been different than any other. She’d been so far away this time. It had taken the longest time to find her too, aside from the lives where he hadn’t found her at all. He hadn’t been able to sense her as much this time either. He was able to tell that she was out there somewhere, and that she’d had an okay life but that was pretty much it. Not like in past lives where he’d been able to get glimpses of her or what she was doing. The convenience of modern technology had helped him though. This time was going to be different, he thought. It was going to work this time.

  
The nice older lady he’d talked to on the phone yesterday was checking him into his room. “Um, do you know anything about Evergreen Books? I heard it was close by.” He asked her as she typed away on her computer. “Oh yeah! Rey Brown owns that place. I think she went to school with my daughter, she’s a sweet girl. For a local book store they have a pretty good variety.” He gave her a small smile and nod as she handed him his room key. Once he unpacked in the room, he set up his laptop on the desk. Next to it he started a list on the provided notepad. Bullet point one, was to visit the bookstore. The next few were visits to the most frequent coffee shops and restaurants on her instagram. He made a line to separate the list. He filled the rest of the page with his plan. First he had to meet her, next was to ask her out on some kind of date, then to ask her on more dates and continually spend more time with her. The last and most important part of the plan, **MAKE HER REMEMBER** , he wrote in dark letters. He stuck the paper in the frame of the mirror so it stared him in the face. He’d take a shower, and maybe head out for dinner. This was always the hardest part, besides finding her in the first place. It made him feel strange, like some kind of stalker. It would work this time though, it had to.

  
He had chosen some Southern comfort food place with a view of the river that he’d seen on her feed and asked the hostess for a table by the windows. He stood out like a sore thumb here. He was wearing a button up and slacks, paired with a long coat. Much too formal compared to the other patrons that were dressed in flannel and an assortment of hooded jackets. They were all prepared for the late September chill that was outside and the ever possibility of rain. The hostess had even asked him if someone was supposed to be meeting him here for business. He assured her that it would only be him, and asked her for a coffee. He sipped the strong brew and looked out at the river. He could understand why Rey looked so happy in all her pictures here. There was green everywhere. The food and coffee warmed his insides and the jet lag combined with the late night he’d had yesterday was catching up with him. He had to blink a couple times when he first saw her. She was walking in between two other girls, their arms all linked. They all had their mouths open, like they were laughing at a joke someone had just told. His heart leapt when he saw them turn toward the entrance. What were the odds that he’d get to see her on the first night. She was taking of her jacket and wiping the wetness off of her boots at the door, still laughing with her friends. She fit right in with these people, in her black leggings, a grey knit sweater and boots, and a bright red rain jacket. Her hair was cut into a medium length bob that she’d tried to pull back unsuccessfully. There was large chunks falling out of her ponytail. She’d cut it since the last picture of herself she’d posted he thought. The three girls got a table and ordered cocktails and a few appetizers. They must be having one of those “girls night’s”. He checked his watch, and decided he’d stay for one more cup of coffee and maybe a slice of pie and then he’d leave. He saw them look over a few times and tried to seem like he hadn’t been looking at them too. He’d have to come up with a clever excuse tomorrow when he planned on visiting the bookstore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was updated on 7/14 for easier readability


	2. Just a Normal Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bringing in Rey's POV in this chapter

She had been distracted at the restaurant. Every time she looked up, the dark man by the windows had been staring at her. He was really bad at hiding it too. Every time she would make eye contact with him he would quickly look away and smile to himself. “You should go talk to him. Get his number.” Rose, already a little tipsy, nudged her elbow. “No, I’m out with you guys. I shouldn’t. He looks like he’s supposed to be meeting someone anyway.” She responded, laughing. They teased her some more before they was dropped it. He was attractive though, in an unconventional way, with dark hair and a little bit of stubble. He had a long, slightly crooked nose, full lips that made a wide smile, and his face was dotted with a few moles and freckles. She, and everyone else in the room, could tell that he had come from out of town. Portland maybe, or somewhere in California. He was wearing a light blue button up, navy dress pants, and a long wool coat. Way to dressed up for this place. After he finished his pie and coffee he got up and left, and she watched hm through the windows as he climbed into an expensive rental car.

The next morning Rey nursed a slight hangover as she lifted herself off Rose’s couch. They hadn’t gone wild last night, but she’d planned on not driving after and left her car here at her apartment. “Shit.” She muttered to herself after glancing at her phone. Opening at Evergreen was in about an hour. She helped herself to the shower and rifled through her friends closet for something clean to wear. She and Rey were like sisters and she knew Rose wouldn’t mind. She eventually settled on a tan sweater that she was pretty sure she’d leant to Rose anyway, and a fresh pair of dark wash jeans. “This will have to do.” She whispered to herself before seeing Rose’s coffee pot to start brewing soon for her, and locked the door on her way out. “Good morning” she called to no one as she opened up the bookshop door, propping it open to let in the fresh air for a bit. Rey went through the same routine she did every morning. Lights, turning on the computer that served as the register, and checking if there were any voicemails on the shop phone. There was the usual one from Mrs.Reed, still wondering if she’d gotten any of that new murder mystery. She rolled her eyes and smiled as she listened to it. She’d told Mrs.Reed several times that the book was sold out everywhere and even if it wasn’t Rey couldn’t really afford a shipment of brand new hard covers. Especially not of a book that was on the New York best seller’s list. The beginning of the day went on as normal, and Rose showed up with a to-go cup of coffee for her and a piece of toast. “You’re a saint, really.” She took the cup and held it close, willing it to give her energy before even taking a sip.

It was almost lunch time and she was watching the sidewalk outside, trying to metal coax someone to come inside. Then that expensive rental pulled up to park across the street. She saw his long legs swing out, followed by his big trunk of upper body. He was wearing a similar outfit as last night, but had swiped the button up for a sweater and the dress pants for jeans. What were the chances, she thought, of seeing this same handsome man two days in a row. I must be day dreaming, she thought has he crossed and reached to open the door. “Hello, welcome in.” She smiled, greeting him. “Hello. The um, receptionist, at The Cottage Inn recommended your bookstore.” His voice was low and husky. “Oh, Sheila! She’s such a sweetie. Is there something specific you’re looking for?” She hopped down from her stool behind the counter, eager to have a customer. He paused and looked her up and down a moment, “I was hoping that you could recommend something actually.” He let out a breathy little laugh, “I’m here on business and the hotel room is pretty dull. Anything to fill the time would be appreciated.” “Absolutely, what kind of books do you like?” “Um, not sure. I haven’t read anything for fun in a while.” He looked too embarrassed for it to be anything but the truth. “Well,” she paused “what is a book you remember enjoying? I could probably find you something similar.” He studied his shoes as he tired to come up with a title. How sad, she thought to herself, how long had it been since this poor man had lost himself in a good book? “The last one I remember really enjoying was The Road?” “The Road, ok. A nice father and son story. Let me think.” She said, as she started walking toward the section of the store where McCarthy could be found and motioned over her shoulder for him to follow. She stood, eyes scanning the shelves until she spotted it. “Ah! This one.” She exclaimed, plucking it from the shelf and turning to present it to him. “No Country for Old Men, have you read it?” She asked and he shook his head. “It’s not a father and son story like The Road, but if you already know you like McCarthy then why stray right?” She smiled, feeling accomplished. Now that they were in the close confines of the book selves though, she finally got to really take him in. He was really tall and the top of her head probably only came to his chin. He smelled nice too, like a mix of clean laundry, shaving cream, and old school Old Spice. The book looked tiny in his large hands as he tested its weight and smiled at her. “Yes, I think I’ll take this one.” As she was finishing up the transaction on the computer, he asked her, “You know, I could use your help with one more thing.” “Sure.” She answered without looking up from the screen. “You could let me take you out for lunch.” She froze, and then laughed, “Out for lunch?” He joined her laughter, “Yes! I don’t know any of the good places, and I would prefer not to eat alone.” She was starting to shake her head no, and then he added, “Don’t think of it as a date or anything, more like friends.” “Alright, I can do friends. I have to lock up so I’ll meet you outside.”


	3. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cuties go on their lunch date.

“Before we leave, I just realized I haven’t properly introduced myself,” he shifted the bag containing the book and held out his hand, “I’m Ben, Ben Solo.” She shook it, “Rey Brown, but I’m sure Shelia already told you my name.” They laughed lightly together and turned to start walking down the sidewalk. No she didn’t, he thought to himself, but of course I already know your name. “So, what’s something good that’s close? Or we could take my rental and I can bring you back after if there’s something farther that you’re wanting.” “Umm…” She stopped walking and scanned her surroundings, as if trying to figure out where she was. “Or, where do you usually go on your lunch break?” He added, hoping to be helpful. “Well, I usually bring my own or just skip it to be honest. But I think there’s a good sandwich place close by here that my friend likes.” She started walking again, leading him down a side street. The ended up out side a little shop with large windows and a sign that read “Meat in the Middle”. The hostess seated them and he ordered a sandwich and fries for himself, she was about to order a side salad for herself when he gave her a stern look. “Are you not that hungry or are you worried about the price? Because it’s my treat.” She blushed, and told the waitress she’d have half a sandwich as well. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.” She muttered as the waitress left. “No, I insist. It’s not fair for you to pay if you weren’t even planning on going out.”, and I want to spoil you, he thought.

He took a sip of his water and then asked, “So how does someone end up owning their own book store?”. He wanted to know everything he had missed out on in this life. “Well, I always had a pretty large collection of my own that my friends would borrow from. And after high school I didn’t really have a plan like everyone else so I bought the building,” She gestured in the direction they’d walked from, “And just started I guess. It’s not the best living, especially with big competitors like Barnes and Nobel and Amazon. But people around here have a special appreciation for small, local businesses I guess.” She paused a beat, “And what do you do?” “I’m a partner at a law firm. Hux, Solo and associates. We take on mostly civil cases for, um larger businesses.” He coughed when he said this, realizing the direct contrast in their lives and feeling a bit embarrassed. “Oh, that’s nice.” She said, looking away. “So what large client brings you to Hood River?” He choked on his drink, he hadn’t thought this far. He’d been telling everyone he was here for business and hadn’t even thought up what that meant. Quick, quick, she’s waiting, he thought while trying to clear his lungs. “Um, none actually. I’m thinking about leaving the firm and moving someplace else. Just exploring my options.” He finally said. It wasn’t a lie, he would be leaving the firm to be with her if everything went well.

They chatted more once their food arrived and he learned a lot about the life she’d had. She’d been in the foster system after her parents gave her up and been with a few detached families during her childhood, never really feeling like she belonged. Then she opened the book store, and spent her time working there and spending time with her friends, Rose and Kaydel. Rose was like a sister to her, letting her stay over when the foster family was too much, helping her with money problems, and just being her person to lean on. He went on about how Hux, his law partner, had been pretty much the same thing for him. They’d gone to school together, went to the same college, had interned together, and had moved to New York to start their firm together. Their grandparents had even been friends, and that had helped them come back the couple of times they’d almost had a falling out. “So why are you leaving the firm then?” She’d asked him. “I’m ready for a change of scenery. He’ll be upset at first, but ultimately he’ll understand. We’ve been together our whole lives, and at some point it gets old.” Of course he couldn’t tell her that Hux knew everything and that is why he was sure as soon as he’d seen the email stating a “family emergency” that he’d found her and that was why he was leaving. He asked about the places she’d traveled too, and she responded with a disappointingly short list. “I’ve never been out of the country or anything. Pretty much just different places in Oregon and Washington, and California a few times. Nothing wild.” She laughed and shrugged it off. It was too bad, he thought to himself, while giving her his list in return. All the wonderful places she’d been to and she couldn’t even remember. Different countries, different planets, different galaxies even. He told her about some of his favorite places on this list, and his favorite places to go in New York, stating that she’d have to take him to all of her favorites around here. She agreed to this, laughing, “Anything to make you decide where you’re going to put down new roots.” He liked her laugh, he thought. She deserved to laugh.

She glanced at her watch and exclaimed, “Oh my god, we’ve been here for almost 2 hours. I have to get back to the shop.” They consolidated their mess and he paid the bill, leaving a generous tip. She was practically jogging back down the road they’d come from. Once they got back, she panted while unlocking the door, “Thank you for lunch, really. We should get together again before you leave town.” He fumbled for his phone, his hands too large for his denim pockets, “Can I get your number?” He had to be able to reach her again without having to come all the way to the store and bother her at work. She nodded, smiling, and took his cell. “I’ll shoot myself a message from yours so I’ll have your number too.” She said as she thumbed at the screen. “Um, I think Rose is having some sort of get together at her place later today actually.” She added, handing the phone back to him. “You should come. It’ll be fun.” He nodded and she lit up, “Great! I’ll send you the details after I get off work in a couple hours. It’s going to be pretty casual, so no need to get as dressed up as you were last night.” She gave him a sly wink and headed back into the store. He smiled to himself as he headed back to the car. Everything was going great. She was at least open to being friends with him, and hopefully he’d get to talk to her alone again later. He unlocked his phone after settling in the driver seat. She’d put her name in as Rey, with a little yellow heart and a sunflower emoji next to it.


	4. Mr. Brightside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a tw on this chapter, Ben and Rey do end up at her place, alone, after they’ve both been drinking but of course nothing happens because Ben is a gentlemen and Rey would not be able to give her consent in that situation.

After their lunch dated Ben had asked Shelia where he could go to get some good coffee and read his new book. She’d pointed out a caffe down the street from the hotel that he could walk to. That was were he’d sat, drinking black coffee and nibbling on a croissant while waiting for her to text. Shortly after 5 her name popped up on his phone screen, lighting it up. _Here’s Rose’s address, everyone is showing up at 6:30 I think._ She followed up with the friends information. A few seconds later, another message popped up. _Can’t wait to see you_ with a set of little pink hearts. _I’ll see you then_ , he sent back. His heart was racing, and he had to take a few deep breaths to calm himself. Checking the time on his screen, he downed the rest of his coffee and got a doggie bag for his pastry so he could head back to freshen up. On his way back to the hotel, he stopped and picked up a bottle of rosé, not entirely sure what was expected from this kind of “get together”. If it was too much he could always put it back in the car and drink it later, he shrugged. He was excited to meet Rey’s friends. They made her happy, so he was grateful for them. He’d never really been able to meet them before. When he was Kylo Ren, they would have never accepted him, even if he had lived. Rey hadn’t had much time for friends in the other lives, but he was really glad she had them now.

He parked across the street from the address Rey had sent, at 6:25. Too early to go in, but better early than late, he thought while trying to find a way to kill some time. He decided to scroll through his email, and maybe see if anything urgent was happening in New York. Of course it wasn’t though. Hux had sent a brief email, only because others in the office could see it on the shared email server. “Ok, keep me posted Solo.” Was all he’d said. The rest of the emails were junk that he could disregard. It made him feel a little sad now, thinking about how Hux was is only true friend in New York and he hadn’t bothered to say anything other than that. He knew what was really happening after all. No “good luck buddy” or “how is everything going” texts? He scrolled on social media a bit before opening his car door as soon as the clock turned to 6:30, eager to get inside. He climbed the stairs to the apartment number on his phone, and heard laughter and talking inside. He knocked lightly on the door and heard Rey from inside, “That must be him, be nice!” She scolded someone. She opened the door, “You made it!” “I made it,” he smiled, “I brought a gift for the hostess.” He said, scanning for the girl named Rose. A woman with short black hair, got up off the couch, “Oh you’re so sweet! Rey was telling us what a gentleman you were, paying for her lunch when you just met!” She gave Rey a sly smile and took the wine. “I’m Rose.” She extended her hand, which he shook. “Ben Solo, nice to meet you Rose. I’ve heard so much about you from Rey already.” Rose was nice, she was shorter than Rey and had a fuller figure. She was wearing loose fitting black pants and a baby blue blouse, she’d obviously made Rey coordinate because Rey was wearing a similar blouse and black skinny jeans. It was cute, he thought. As the two girls went to deposit the wine in the kitchen, he made his way toward the sofa, and gave polite nods to a few people he passed. There was music playing in the background and people were all around the room, talking and drinking. Rey came back with two red plastic cups, handing him one as she situated herself on the couch in criss-cross position so she could look at him while they talked. “Do you like beer?” She asked, taking a sip from her own cup. “Um not particularly, but I’ll give this a try at least.” He said while giving it a tentative sniff. It smelled awful. “It’s some IPA that Poe brought, it’s not that good honestly. But it’s all he’ll drink and I didn’t know what else you’d like.” She had to lean in close to him so they could hear over the other conversations and the music. “I’ve never been to a party like this.” He admitted to her, “All the parties in New York are either too big for their own good, or some snobby event. This is nice. Intimate.” She nodded, drinking more from the cup. A few of Rey’s other friends came over, and Rey moved to face them. Ben sat quietly while they talked. Slowly he rested his arm on the back of the sofa so that it was positioned behind Rey, but he didn’t dare drape it around her. That would be too bold, he told himself. She had only just met him today. She was sitting so close though, and their thighs were touching. His skin burned were denim met denim. When he inhaled he could smell her perfume too. She smelled like vanilla and still had the distinct smell of paper from the book store on her. He listened and sipped his drink, to her and her friends go on about some local events, or some place they’d seen online they wanted to visit. She was right, he thought, it wasn’t good but it would do. He tried to listen for names to see if he knew any of these people. There was a man with dark brown hair and stubble that must have been Poe, he was in the air force now and was home on leave. He’d been a resistance pilot a long time ago, Ben thought. There was the blonde girl that he’d seen at the restaurant, they called her Kaydel. “I hope you don’t mind, Rey,” he heard the man called Poe say, “I invited Finn, and he said he was going to stop by.” Ben saw Rey stiffen for a moment, “No, I don’t mind.” She laughed it off, but Ben could tell she was lying. Who ever this Finn guy was, him being here made her uncomfortable. “I hate to tear you away, but would you come with me to get another drink?” He asked her, loud enough for the others to hear. “Yes!” She exclaimed, “You need to catch up!” She took his hand, and started leading him. Her hand felt tiny in his, and he held it tight so she wouldn’t disappear in the crowd of people that had formed in the small apartment. She discarded their cups, and poured from a jug of red juice/liquor mix into new ones. He took a sip, fruit punch and vodka, and cringed. How old were these friends of hers? Spotting a glass slider leading to a small balcony, he leaned to talk into her ear over the music and pointed to it, “Want to go get some air?”. She nodded. He could sense that the idea of this other person showing up was making her nervous.

They sat on some plastic chairs, the sound of the party muffled by the glass. “So who’s Finn, and why don’t you want him here?” He asked tentatively. “I never said that!” She replied too quickly, and Ben lifted his hands defensively. She leaned back in the chair, closing her eyes, and her body involuntarily shivered. “Here,” he shrugged off his jacket, “You look cold, and I can tell you don’t want to go back yet.” He’d almost thought she’d fallen asleep there in it, when she finally spoke up again, “Finn is my ex, and it didn’t really end well.” He stayed silent, urging her to go on. “ We dated in high school, I was supposed to join him at Washington State after I graduated since he was a year ahead. I went to surprise him once on break and found him in bed with another girl.” She sighed. “So that’s why you stayed here and didn’t go off to college like everyone else?” Ben added on to the end, and she nodded. “I only applied to Washington State, and by the time I found out it was too late to apply anywhere else. I lost all my grants and scholarships too. Then, after that I got Evergreen.” He only hummed understanding, while he watched Poe embrace a dark skinned man with curls by the door. He waited a moment until the were both our of view of the slider. “I think he’s here.” He told her and she groaned. “Do you want to leave? I could drive you home if you want.” He asked her. Rey was silent, weighing her options and then Ben added, “It might make him jealous to see you leaving with some dark stranger.” She laughed at that, and he smiled, feeling her spirits lighten. “Yeah,” she rose from the chair, “I’m ready to leave. Rose will get over it.” Ben looked back through the glass and spotted Rose, locking lips with a guy. He pointed this out to Rey and said, “I think she’ll be just fine. We come back and help her clean up tomorrow to make it up to her.” They laughed at this, and headed through to the front door. Rey grabbed the wine bottle Ben had brought from the kitchen, explaining that Rose shouldn’t drink it anyway, and they waved good bye to a few people. As Ben predicted, Poe pointed at them and whispered something to Finn as Ben ushered Rey out the door. Finn scowled, and Ben gave him an equally bitter look.

He followed the directions Rey gave him back to her house. Unlike Rose, Rey lived on the very edge of town. They had to go up a dark road with no side walks or street lamps with a thick tree line on either side, to reach her house. It was a one story cottage like house, lifted up on a deck that sat on stilts. There was a thick brush of ferns, ivy, and other bushes that filled the space under the house. The large windows took up most of the walls, but the view inside was obscured by tree branches. “Do you want to come inside and help me drink this?” She asked as he parked in her driveway, her car was still at Rose’s house. “I can stay for a glass or two.” He nodded, getting excited. He had to make himself calm down as she led the way up the porch stairs to the door. She’s been drinking, he told himself, nothing can happen. It wouldn’t be right. “Me casa es su casa!” She called from the kitchen, getting glasses and an opener for the wine as he made himself comfortable on thesmall sofa. She had good taste, he thought as his eyes wondered the warmly lighted living room. It was decorated in earth tones, with lots of leather and knitted textured items which mad it feel cozy and home like. She emerged and set the glasses down, pouring some wine into both before settling next to him on the couch. She sat taking up most go the space, setting her legs and get in his lap. “Your place is nice, I really like it.” He gestured around before taking a sip from his glass. “Thank you,” she said while turning on the tv. There was some teen romance movie on the channel that it was already set to, and she turned it down so it wasn’t too loud. They watched in silence and sipped, his large hands resting in her calves. Every once in a while he would rub a small circle on the denim with his thumb. They topped off their glasses a few times and before they knew it the bottle was gone. By the time the credits rolled, Reys head was rolled back against the arm rest and she was lightly snoring. Ben smiled, while he watched her for a moment. She was so cute and peaceful.

He scooped her up though, and her eyes fluttered a bit before she snuggled her head into his chest while he carried her to her bedroom. He placed her carefully on the bed and covered her with the comforter. He found a glass from the kitchen and filled it with water, leaving it on her bedside table for her and putting her phone on it’s charger for her.He took their wine glasses to the sink, and rinsed them as well as the empty bottle and turned off the tv. He looked around, and was satisfied with his work. He locked the door from the inside on his way out, and once safely back in the car he took a moment to send her a text to wake up to. _In case you wake up confused, I drove you home from Rose’s and you fell asleep while we were watching tv so I put you in bed. I’ll be back in the morning with coffee and doughnuts so we can go get your car from Rose’s apartment._ He hesitated, and then added the yellow heart, deciding that was appropriate and hit send. Oh how he’d wished that she hadn’t had so much to drink. If she’d been sober, maybe this night would have turned into more.


	5. Go Somewhere New

Rey woke to her head throbbing lightly and he throat extremely dry. She downed the glass of water on her nightstand and grabbed her phone, pulling it off the charger. She thought about the text while she showered. Why was this stranger being so nice to her? She texted Rose about it while she tried to pick out an outfit. The bookstore was closed today, and she just had a feeling that Ben was going to want to go somewhere. He likes you! Wear that yellow skirt I got you and take him out. Maybe on a picnic?, Rose typed back. She took her advise, and pulled on the yellow, knee light skirt that had buttons all up the front and a white tee. She was finishing her makeup when she heard the sound of tires on gravel outside. There was heavy footsteps up the stairs, and a knock at the door. “It’s open!” She called from the bathroom, her heart fluttering in her chest. It was one thing for a man to come into your home for a night cap, but it was completely different for him to come during broad daylight. He’s just a friend, taking you back to get your car. He’s probably got some super model girlfriend back in New York, she repeated in her head to try to bring herself down. “Good morning!” Ben called from down the hall way, the crinkle of a paper bag followed. “Morning! I’ll be out in a second.” She answered back. She found Ben sitting at her dining room table sipping out of paper coffee cup with a huge powdered doughnut on a napkin in front of him “Hmp,” he held up a finger, so he could swallow, “I hope you don’t mind I started without you. I was hungry. I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I played it safe. Vanilla late and a bear claw? I got an extra old fashioned just in case if you want that.” “No this is perfect, thank you.” She sat across the table and inhaled the sweet scent of the latte while taking off the lid of the cup to dunk a chunk of doughnut in. “What are your plans today?” She asked. “Umm,” he paused, “I don’t have any I guess. Maybe try to look for an apartment so I can get out of the hotel.” “So you decided to stay?” He laughed a little, “Nothing is set in stone, but I like it here. So maybe.” He caught her eye, and smiled. He had a goofy, lopsided smile filled with crooked and coffee stained teeth. It suited him though. She looked away, her bear claw suddenly interesting. “We can eat in the car if you’re ready to go get your car. Do you have to be at the bookstore today?” “I actually have the day off.” He stood up from the table and was trying to wipe powdered sugar from his pants with a clean napkin. “I have an appointment to view a place in like,” he glanced at his watch, “thirty minutes. Do you want to come along? I could use the opinion of someone local.” “Yeah, I can come along. I couldn’t let you get swindled by the landlord.” She giggled, and elbowed him as she walked toward the door to grab a sweater off the hook. They were early to the appointment and sat in Ben’s rental listening to the radio before heading into the office. “Well, the location isn’t great.” Rey said as they were pulling in. “And why is that?” “Too close to the center of town, which would normally be good. Here though you’re going to either want to be closer to the river, which is going to be a little more expensive but worth the view. Or closer to the edge of town like my place, so you have the good forrest view. And you’re going to have more traffic here too.” “Noted,” He replied, nodding “what if it’d gorgeous on the inside? Could you forgive it’s awful location?” “Possibly. But it’s going to have to work really hard.” They laughed together before Ben noticed the time “We’d better go in”.

The apartment was nice, Rey made mental notes as they walked through. It was newer, and modern, and fit what an outside would think Ben would like. He was polite to the landlord who showed them around, and never corrected them when he referred to them as a couple. He would just give Rey this secret look. It was a joke between the two of them as they stopped by a couple complexes and houses that were having open viewings that day. They went to a by the slice pizza place afterward. Ben had walked in and noticed the pies on display and shook his head before saying, “It’s fine.” They ordered, and sat at a table away from the door to escape the cold. “Which one was you favorite?” Rey asked, stuffing her face. “Well, I didn’t really like the first few apartments. I have an apartment in New York and I don’t really want the same thing here. I liked the second house we saw, a lot.” Rey nodded enthusiastically, her mouth still full. Ben continued, “I like the backyard, and the view from the master. The location has been friend approved too.” He said as he gestured to Rey. She stopped chewing for a millisecond, he’d called her his friend. They were friends, she thought happily and cleared her throat. “Let them know you’re interested.” He smiled, chewing his own food. “Maybe,” he swallowed, “I need to call Armitage. Get his advise, and if anything just let him know what is going on.” “Well get on it,” she teased, “then next week on my day off we can look for furniture.” They finished up with their sodas and pizza before Ben took her back to her car at Rose’s and told her he’d call her tomorrow. She waved before getting into her ’99 Jeep Cherokee and driving off. She had the radio on in the background as she thought back on the day. Ben was a brave man, just moving all the way across the country like that. Didn’t he have anything tying him to New York or the east coast? No girlfriend, not his parents, no other friends? Rey didn’t know who her real parents were and she didn’t care for any of the foster parents she’d had, but she knew other people wanted to be close to theirs. She shrugged to no one and dismissed it. When she got home she watered the plants and made herself a cup of tea to sip while she watched tv before bed. Ben was a nice guy, she thought. After she FaceTimed Rose and Kaydel and told them everything they suggested inviting him to movie night. “You’re always 5th wheeling! Even if you guys are just friends, it’ll be nice for you to have someone else there right?” Kaydel said. Movie night used to just be the three of them but now her and Rose always brought their boyfriends along and Rey was left to entertain herself. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll ask him tomorrow.” She replied. “Are you guys hanging out again tomorrow? Don’t you have to be at Evergreen?” Rose asked, eyebrow raised. “I don’t know yet. He just said he’d call me tomorrow. Maybe we’ll get lunch on my break again?” Rose had stopped listening, apparently reading a text that had come through from her boyfriend and they spent the next few hours going on about “men” and how they just couldn’t live with them.

The next day, Ben did call on Rey’s lunch break to ask about her day. He also told her that he’d talked to Hux. “We’re setting up a Skype call later today to talk more, but he’s not happy. I think he’s mostly concerned for the firm. I’m going to suggest maybe having a west coast branch, but we’ll see.” “There’s lots of lawyers on the east coast right? I’m sure he could find someone to help out.” She replied. “Yeah, I think he just feels kind of betrayed. This is sort of sudden for him, even though I’ve been thinking about leaving for a while. I’ll text you and let you know how it goes.” He was about to get off the phone when she remembered, “Oh hey! Rose and Kaydel wanted me to invite you to movie night. We always went to the movies, just the three of us, on Fridays. But now both of them have boyfriends so I’m kind of the odd man out.” He was silent. “So… what do you say?”, She asked. “Yeah, I’ll come along. What time?” She told him and they got off the phone. He didn’t text her later, and she was left wondering how the Skype call with Hux had gone. She thought about sending him a message but decide not to. He’d tell me if it was important, she thought. She had a strange dream that night. Flashes of someone else’s life, a long time ago. It felt somewhat familiar, but it also looked like some retro movie. There was a sea of people, bell bottoms, long tipped collars, denim jackets, and vibrant knits. The people were holding up poster board signs, and shouting, fists in the air. Then the person’s life she was seeing was in a car, at night. There were tires screeching, and bright lights shining in the window, and a loud crash. Rey woke up with a start, and had to open up the window to let in the bracing fall air to cool herself down enough to get back to sleep.


	6. Connected

Ben was tossing and turning on the too soft hotel mattress. He was getting flashes of his last life. It had not been a good one, and he didn’t like looking back to it. He’d been drafted to fight in the Vietnam war shortly after he’d turned 18, and he hadn’t even had a chance to look for Rey. He’d died in Vietnam, and the time he’d been there had been hell. Eventually Ben got out of bed and went into the bathroom. He splashed his face with cold water, and noticed an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew then that she must also be seeing visions of her past life. It was working, he thought with hope. Her subconscious was helping her remember what she’d cut herself off from. Ben did feel somewhat responsible for this, but he’d had no other choice. The only reason she’d cut herself off from the force was because he’d sacrificed his life for hers. She hadn’t been able to go one without him, and had spent the rest of that life alone, punishing herself for what she thought was her fault. He’d have to go visit her at work in the morning. He’d told her he would tell her how the call with Hux had gone, but afterward he’d been so exhausted. “How can you throw away everything for some girl?” Hux had asked. “You know how important she is to me. And I’m not throwing everything away. You knew this was coming eventually, and I thought you would understand.” Hux just shook his head. “Come on,” Ben pleaded with him, “I can open a branch out here. Our west coast clients have always said they thought we should. In the end it will be good for the firm.” Silence from Hux still. “I love her Armitage, and I’m not leaving.” Ben finally said firmly before adding, “I’ve lost her too many times. I think this time could really be our chance, and there’s nothing standing in our way.” Hux rolled his eyes, “What ever Ben, but I’m not helping with costs. This was your decision and you’re going to have to do it on your own. Keep me updated so I can let the clients and the rest of the office know. And call your mother. She called me yesterday asking about you.” With that, Hux ended the call. His mother, he thought about her now. She had also been a force user all that time ago, and could remember everything he could. Surely she could sense what was going on and wanted to help him. This was something he needed to do on his own though.

He was watching her through the glass windows of Evergreen. It was cold and raining so she was wearing a thick sweatshirt, black leggings, and rain boots. She’d pulled the top half of her hair into a little bun on the back of her head, and he felt a pang in his heart. “Hey,” he was stomping the water off his own boots. “Hey. You didn’t text me yesterday.” She questioned him, taking the extra cup of coffee from his hand. “I’m sorry, I meant to but I was so tired and I had some logistics to work out.”, “So, what’s the news?” “He wasn’t happy about it, but he’ll get over it. I have to cover my own costs of opening the new branch. But I figured I could just use one of the spare rooms in the house as my office and just run it out of there for now.” She smiled wide, “So did you let them know you were interested in renting the house?” He shook his head, “No, I’m going to head over to their offices soon and I think I’m actually going to make them an offer to buy it.” Her jaw dropped, she didn’t know anyone their age who was able to buy their own home. “I’d ask if you wanted to come along but I’m sure you’re busy.” There was actually a few customers in the shop for once. “Text me when you’re done and let me know how it goes, and I can stop by after closing. But you have to actually text me this time!” She wagged her finger at him, scolding for last night. He laughed, “I will! I’ll see you later.” He waved at her as he went back out through the door. If she’d had similar visions last night, she didn’t give anything away about it. Maybe he’d hint at it later and get her reaction. The rental office was shocked by his offer, but ultimately accepted when he explained the benefits to them. The house was older so now they could take that money and buy a new property. It would save them money on maintenance and they could charge higher rent in a newer unit. After they finished the paper work, he texted Rey and told her to stop by the new place after work. He sent her another message, Looks like I will need your help with the furniture. And maybe some renovations. He ordered Chinese takeout to be delivered, and it got there right before she did. They ate it standing up in the kitchen while Rey went on and on about all the changes she thought they should make. “Obviously it needs some updating and painting, and the carpet has to go.” He just watched her as she paced the dining room space next to the kitchen. He could see what she was imagining, and he pictured her here too. Sleepy mornings, loafing around in bed with her before they made breakfast. Him working late nights and her bringing him a cup of coffee in nothing but his shirt. Yes, he thought, this place would be amazing. Before she left, they came up with a plan. He would take tomorrow to get everything else in order. Get out of his lease in New York, and start having the rest of his things shipped. Then on Wednesday they would clean the place from top to bottom and start painting. Thursday they would go into the city to go to Ikea, about an hour drive away in Portland. After she left he cleaned up the mess from their takeout, and locked the place up. He’d have to sleep at the hotel still until he got some furniture.

He couldn’t sleep tonight either. He was having more visions, from further back this time. It had been another war in that life. World War 2, he’d learned later. He’d found her in that one, but it still hadn’t been good. He’d been shot in France, and he would have made a perfectly normal recovery if he hadn’t been laying in the mud for so long before someone found him. He remembered lying there for such a long time before he was able to stop his own bleeding, and he laid there a lot longer with his open wound sitting in the dirty puddle before his men were able to circle back for him. Rey had been the poor nurse looking after him in the hospital. She’d done everything she could, but there was already infection and he’d lost so much blood. He was so weak. She stayed with him, and held his hand. “Is there anything I can do for you?” Her sweet voice echoed in his head now. “You can give a dying man one last kiss?” He pleaded. She had placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, and over the hours everything grew dark. Just like it had many times before. He thought about Rey now, she must being having visions about the same life cycle. He wondered if she’d say anything about it, or if she’d seen him in her visions. The next few days where busy. He called his landlord and worked something out. He called his assistant from the firm and explained the situation, “You’re more than welcome to come out here if you’d like, but I’m sure Hux will need all hands on deck there now so it’s up to you.” The assistant told him he’d need to thin about it. He called a moving company that said they would pack everything and ship it cross country. He wrote emails to clients and let them know about the changes, and that they should contact Hux with any of their needs. Rey sent him words of encouragement throughout the day, which he was grateful for. Wednesday, Rey showed up with her band of friends, most of which he’d met at Rose’s party. They’d brought coffee, and various cleaning supplies. Poe had brought his truck so the could haul stuff to the dump, and his tools. They all spent the morning divided between the rooms. They scrubbed the walls, mopped, scrubbed the bathrooms and kitchen, and then they worked together to tear up the carpet and old linoleum. In the afternoon, they split again. Poe, Rose’s , and Kaydel’s boyfriends went to the dump. Some of the girls went to bring back supplies for lunch, and Rey and Ben went to the hardware store in her Jeep. They picked out paint, rollers and brushes, tape, and drop sheets for the floor. After lunch, everyone else went home. Ben thanked them, letting them know how grateful he was to have friends like them already. He and Rey painted with the radio on in the background.

It was getting dark, and Rey was turning on the lamps around the living room. Ben hooked up his phone to the stereo while she wasn’t looking and put on a 30’s and 40’d playlist. He’d hated that time, but he had to admit that they had great music. He was hoping to trigger something in her too. He knew that she’d been thinking about their lives during World War 2 a lot. He got the same visions as her every night. “What is this?” She asked, laughing. “Oh nothing, just some music I like.” He replied without looking at her and continued painting. She hummed along for a couple songs, and at some point he stopped painting and sat on the floor watching her. She was making slow strokes with the paint brush on the wall while she hummed and swayed to the music. One of his favorites was coming on, “It’s Been a Long, Long Time” by Harry James. “Will you dance with me?” He asked her, pushing himself up from the floor. “Dance?” She giggled. “Just humor me Rey.” He took the brush from her and set it in the paint tray. He twirled her into the middle of the room and led her into a slow dance. He held one of her hands in his own and his other on her waist. She draped her arm around his neck, and rested her head on his shoulder. “You know,” she whispered, “It’s really weird that you out this on.” “How so?” “I’ve been having these really weird dreams, about some nurse during this time.” He stayed silent. She was just confirming what he already knew. “I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out what was bringing them on. Have you put this on while we’ve been in the car before?” “Hmm, I can’t remember.” He replied. This lady in the song sang about how she’d spent a long time without her love, and Ben rested his chin on the top of her head. It’s been so long without you, he thought to himself. The song ended, and Rey peeled herself away. “I should probably get going.” He nodded and walked her out. You’re so close to remembering, he thought as he watched her pull out of the driveway. Please remember me soon.


	7. Longing

The nightmares were getting worse, and Rey was contemplating asking someone about them. Every night she was waking up in a cold sweat after receiving flashes of different time periods. First it had been the 70s, then the 40s, and now she was being bombarded of images from the south’s reconstruction. There were ladies in full dresses and men in suits, horse drawn carriages, and lots of dancing. There was also rooms full of sick people, and wailing mothers. The person’s life that she was viewing was sick, she was burning up and had a horrible rash. When she’d looked it up in the morning she found out it was scarlet fever. There was also this man she kept seeing in her dreams. He looked a lot like Ben, she thought. With his black wavy hair, and his freckled face. It had to be because she was spending so much time with him, she told herself. She put on a little extra concealer today while she was getting ready. Ben was supposed to be here soon so they could head into the city to look at furniture. Rey was expecting the day to be a little awkward. She had been trying to figure out what last night had meant, trying to figure out why Ben had wanted to slow dance with her in his living room. Why had he held her close like that? It was so harmless, but so intimate and her heart involuntarily fluttered thinking about it now. She was so sure that she and Ben were just friends.

  
Ben showed up right on time, as always, with the two coffees and some breakfast sandwiches for the road. “Morning, ready to go?” He greeted her, handing her the vanilla late and her sandwich. “Yeah, lets get going.” The majority of his stuff from New York was due to be delivered this weekend so he wasn’t going to need much. “I want to get some updated stuff though, and a little different style.” He’d told her. It was a long, silent ride. Ben only spoke up once in a while to read her directions from his phone, or to ask if she needed to stop when they were about to pass a rest stop. What’s wrong with you, she asked herself. It was just a little dancing, stop making it weird, it's not like he tried to kiss you or anything. The tension dissolved a little when the finally arrived. They walked through the maze of mock rooms, Ben asking her opinion here and there. “So what is our budget today?” She asked him, looking at the hefty price sheet for a living room set. “Um, I don’t really have one. If I like it, I’ll get it. One of the perks of living a bachelor lifestyle is you can work up a pretty good savings.” She nodded. Just like everywhere else they went, they got mistaken for a couple. Ben was talking to some salesmen about a home office set, “How long have you two been together?” The man asked. Rey was the first to pipe up this time, “We’re not. We’re just friends.” She said, and winced internally. She hadn’t meant to be so short. Ben looked at her blankly, and she turned to walk away understanding that she’d embarrassed him. “I just recently moved to the area and Rey is local. She’s just being a good friend and helping me get settled.” He explained to the man before they continued to talk about what his office needs where.

  
Ben was pushing the platform cart around the warehouse while Rey held the paper that had all the stuff they wanted on it and led him to where it was located. They were in a back corner, loading up a dining room table when he finally spoke. “Is there a reason why you are mad at me?” “I’m not,” she said without looking at him, still trying to lift the heavy box onto the cart. “It’s pretty obvious that something is bothering you. You’re never this quiet, and you’ve been snapping at me and random sales people all morning. So what is going on?” “Nothing. I just haven’t been getting a lot of sleep lately, and there’s some stuff I’m trying to work out.” She sighed. “Well what is it? I can help you.” “No, you can’t.” She replied too quickly. “Hmm,” he nodded, “it’s about last night isn’t it. Rey, if it made you uncomfortable all you have to do is say so, that wasn’t my intention.” “Why do you have to be so polite and perfect? Can we just drop it?” She snapped at him. They collected the rest of the stuff, checked out, and rode back to Rey’s house in silence. When they got home, Ben told her to meet him back at his place with everything before he climbed into his own car. They carried the boxes into his house, and then he told her he’d prefer to put it together alone so she left. Why am I being such a bitch, she asked herself later while she was lying in bed. He’s so nice, so what if he likes me? Would that really be so bad? She told herself it wouldn’t be, it would actually be perfect but something else in her pushed back against the idea. She hadn’t dated anyone since Finn, and it was weird to think about. She made herself some chamomile tea hoping it would actually help her sleep tonight. She was exhausted and fell asleep quickly after downing the mug.

  
There were still dreams tonight, but they were different. Instead of the horrifying and confusing flashes of sickness and war that she usually got, there was quiet moments. Watching over an injured man in his hospital bed, reading to him, talking with him, and willing him to overcome an infection. And there was the south again. A tall, dark man walking arm in arm with her down a street, sitting with him in the dark at a play, and stolen moments in a moonlit garden. The man in the dream looked like Ben, but much younger. What did this mean? She slept through this night for the first time all week, only waking up for her alarm in the morning telling her it was time to start getting ready. Ben texted her some time around noon while she was working. I understand if you don’t want me to come to movie night anymore, but can you please tell me what I did to upset you? What can I do to make it up to you? She didn’t respond for a long time, trying to think of what to say back to him. He hadn’t really done anything, at least not on purpose. It was her own confusion that was the problem. She finally thumbed back a response, at least just letting him know they were still on for the movies. Can we talk about it later? We’re still on for the movie, 7 o’clock at the theater downtown.  
“What am I going to wear?” She was at Rose’s house, trying to raid her closet. “Why does it matter? I thought you guys where just friends?” Rose called from the bathroom while trying to finish her makeup. Rey was silent, and Rose poked her head out the bathroom door and stared at her. “I don’t know anymore.” She said, not wanting to make eye contact with her. Rose came in and set on the edge of the bed, still not saying anything. She knew that this would make Rey crack, and sure enough it did. Rey joined her on the bed and told her everything. That she’d been having dreams about him, and about the dancing, that she always wanted to spend time with him, and that he was so nice and perfect. “I mean he’s not your usual type, and it’s a bit soon. You guys have only known each other for like a week. But everyone else can tell he definitely likes you.” Rose pointed out. Rey contemplated this. “Oh come on. I’ll help you get ready.” Rose walked to the closet and told her what she had on was already pretty good. She’d worn a long sleeve striped shirt and jeans to work. Rose pulled out a camel colored, single breasted coat and some matching ankle boots. She sat her down on the toilet seat in the bathroom and touched up her makeup, and put some loose waves in her hair. “There,” she said, standing Rey in front of the mirror, “Not too dressed up but it also looks like you’ve made an effort. And he’s always wearing that coat just like this so you guys will probably match. It’ll be cute.” Rey stood there in the mirror and thought about what she was going to say to him. What excuse was she going to give for being so weird yesterday? She couldn’t exactly come out and say, oh yeah I’ve been having dreams about you every single night and they’re keeping me up and I really want to kiss those stupid lips of yours.


	8. Apple Cider

Rey wouldn’t ever know it, but Ben had sat on his bed all night trying to will positive memories to come up instead. His heart had broken when she’d snapped at him that day. She needs to be able to sleep tonight, he thought over and over again while he sat there cross legged. He’d cried while he sent her images of all the times they’d been so close, all the times he’d been so close to having her before she was ripped away again. He’d napped during the day, while he knew it was safe to because she’d be at work. He was getting more and more nervous about tonight. It’s just movies with friends, he was telling himself while he shaved in the foggy bathroom mirror. It’s not like it’s a date, especially not for her. Still, he’d make himself look nice. His phone buzzed near five, and a text from Rey popped up on the screen. Rose and Kaydel went to dinner with their boyfriends, do you want to go to the fall market before the movie? His heart leapt into his throat and he typed back, Yeah, I’ll meet you there. She was inviting him to something separate from the rest of the group. Maybe it was kind of like a date.

He’d parked in the lot by the park and was looking around to see if he could spot her by the front entrance. It took him a minute to find her, she wasn’t in her usual dressed down outfit. She looked really good actually. “Hi,” he said, giving her a small wave. “Oh hi” she surprised him and hugged him. It wasn’t anything special, but she’d never done that before. They walked through the market, which Ben decided was pretty much like a farmers market crossed with a fair, and stopped at each of the stalls. When they came across one selling hot apple cider, Ben bought them both a cup. He pointed out a bench toward the edge of the park, away from the screaming and laughing children. They sipped their cider in silence for a while before Rey finally spoke up, “I want to apologize for how I was acting yesterday. I was just really tired, and confused and I was taking it out on you.” Ben took her hand and held it, but didn’t say anything. He was scared that if he opened his mouth, all his feelings would come spilling out and it would scare her. He glanced out the corner of his eye and saw her smiling while she watched the people passing by. He understood that she knew she was forgiven. She could do no wrong in his eyes. It had been raining that morning, the ground and the bench were still wet. “Do you want to go see what they have to eat?” He offered. She nodded, and they walked arm in arm around the stalls. They found one serving what they advertised as “Thanksgiving in a cup”. It was layers of mashed potatoes, shredded turkey, corn, and stuffing, topped with gravy. He ordered two cups and they ate while walking and watching the people and games around them. They didn’t have to talk. He knew that either one had too much to say and not enough words to put together to say it. He could feel her nervousness with his own. The force bond was getting stronger the longer she was around him. He wanted to kiss her, strong, and will her to remember right here, right now. It’s not time yet, he told himself, she’s not ready.

Right around seven Rose and Kaydel met up with them, their boyfriends in tow. They all walked to the theater together, and Rey distanced herself from him a bit. She probably didn’t want to give away to her friends that they had just been holding hands to avoid them teasing her. They decided on a new horror movie that had just come out, even though Rey looked skeptical. While he was getting drinks and candy for them, Rey appeared by his side. “I don’t really like scary movies.” She said quietly so the others couldn’t hear. He handed her a drink and looped her arm with his again, “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” As soon as Ben could tell the movie was going to start getting good, he lifted up the armrest in between his and Rey’s seats. Just like he predicted, at the first good scare she let out a yelp and buried her face in his arm. He wiggled it free so he could wrap it around her, and she’d be pressed up against his torso.That was were she stayed during the whole movie, occasionally peeking over the folds on his sweater to see if it was safe to watch. He held her tight to him and stroked her arm with his thumb. He could smell her sweet vanilla perfume faintly over the salty popcorn smell of the theater, and her shirt was so soft under his fingers. At one point he did see Rose grace over at them from the corner of his eye. She made no move to alert the rest of the group though. Rey must have noticed too because one of her thoughts came flashing into his brain. Oh great, how much crap is she going to give me later for this. He pulled her in a little tighter, and gave her arm a squeeze. Then he willed a thought back her way, hoping it wasn’t too obvious that he’d heard hers. Who cares what they think. He felt her relax a bit. Once the movie ended, they all stood out in front of the theater. The girls hugged good bye, and the men shook hands. The two other couples went their separate ways leaving Ben and Rey standing there alone. “So,” he started, “Do you want to come back to my place and watch something a bit more wholesome?” He added a laugh at the end, to let her know it was ok if she declined. She surprised him though. “Yeah, actually. That’d be great.”


	9. Good Night's Sleep

They rode separately back to his house, and the whole way he had to try to calm himself down. This would be a major chance to get to talk to her, to try to help her remember. She hadn’t been back to his house since they’d gone shopping, there was a lot more furniture now and some of his stuff had been delivered early. He’d been able to put up some of his pictures and had even went shopping for new bedding for his room and the guest bedroom. When Rey stepped in the front door, she spun around, “Wow, it almost looks like a real home in here.” “Yeah, I put in the new floors yesterday. And the rest of the stuff from New York should be here tomorrow.” He turned on the tv, and handed her the remote. While she found something for them to watch, he got a blanket from his hall closet. “Do you want any tea or anything?” He asked before sitting down. She shook her head, kicking off her shoes and getting comfortable. He joined her on the sofa, careful not to get too close. He didn’t want to cross any boundaries, and everything was a little fuzzy after the movies. He didn’t know what she was expecting from him. She’d turned on some family movie that had just started. About a quarter of the way in, she scooted across the couch and snuggled in to him. “You don’t have some secret girlfriend in New York that I don’t know about right?” She asked. “Uh, definitely not.” He laughed. Before the movie was even over, she was snoring quietly. Rather than wake her up and make her drive home, he carefully picked her up and carried her into the guest bedroom. He laid her on the bed and covered her up with the duvet before retreating to his own room. His heart was racing while he stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed. She was so close, but he just couldn’t reach her. Eventually he calmed himself down enough to fall asleep.

He was woken up by a knocking on his door frame a few hours later. He looked over and there she was, still in her clothes. “Can I come sleep with you?” She whispered through the dark. He nodded and pulled the other side of the blankets down, motioning her to come over. She stood by the side of the bed and started pulling her shirt over her head. He thought his heart was going to explode right there in his chest. Of course she wouldn’t want to sleep in her clothes, but he never thought she’d do that. She peeled off her jeans, leaving her in nothing but a sports bra and her panties. She scooted over until she was right next to him, her legs touching his. She wrapped her arms around his and put her forehead on his shoulder. “Night.” She whispered before she closed her eyes. He didn’t say anything. He just leaned over and placed a light kiss on the top of her head. After she felt it she squeezed his arm a little tighter, letting him know that it was ok. At some point in the night they ended up moving so that her head was resting on his chest, his arm around her, and their legs all tangled up. And when the sun came shining in the windows, that was the beautiful sight he woke to. She was so peaceful, and he knew why. There hadn’t been any dreams last night. It had probably been the first really good night’s sleep she’d had in a while. He carefully untangled himself from her, and slipped on some sweats. He crept into the kitchen to start some breakfast and coffee for them.

He was walking back into the room to wake her up and tell her it was ready, and he felt it. She was scared. He almost ran back into the room and found her standing in front of his dresser in one of his tee shirts. She was holding a picture frame, and she was white as a sheet. He knew instantly where he’d gone wrong. His mother had found pictures of him from some of his past lives and sent them to him after he’d called her and told her where he was. She’d found a portrait of him during the 1860’s, a picture of him with his company in 1944, and one of him by a helicopter in Vietnam in ’73 which was the only one in color. Rey was holding the one from ’44 and her hands where shaking. He hadn’t even thought about it last night because it had been dark so she hadn’t seen them. He should have put them away when he got up. This wasn’t how he wanted her to find out. Her voice came out hoarse and she had tears brimming in her eyes, “Where did you get this?” Ben held his hands up and walked slowly toward her, “Just please come sit down and have some breakfast. I can explain everything.” He expected her to bolt and run, but she didn’t. She put down the frame, and followed him into the dining room. He’d laid out a spread of chocolate chip pancakes, fruit, and a pot of coffee on the table. She sat, and started to eat silently. He filled her mug with the coffee and some vanilla creamer he had picked up especially for her. He filled his own mug and sat down, “I’m going to tell you a lot, and it’s going to seem really crazy. But I need you to keep an open mind, and not say anything until I’m done.” She nodded. He took a deep breath, and then he told her. He started at the beginning and told her everything. He told her about Anakin, his mother, and his uncle, and how they met the first time. He told her about how Snoke had thought that he’d created the bond between them. He told her about Kylo Ren, about the man he used to be, and all the horrible things he’d done. He told her about how she’d turned him back to the light, how they’d fought together, and how he’d sacrificed himself to save her. He told her about how he couldn’t find her again for a really long time, but then one day he did. She was a maiden in the village and he was a blacksmith’s apprentice. Someone had been trying to hurt her, he’d stepped in, and it had cost him his life. There was another long gap where he couldn’t find her, but he at least knew that she was out there somewhere. He told her that the next time he saw her was in the south, after the civil war. “That was the first picture you saw in there.” He explained. “I was courting you when we both got scarlet fever, and I’m sure you know how that ended.” The next time he saw her was during World War 2. He explained that he’d gotten shot and was sent to the hospital where she’d been assigned. “I wasn’t able to find you at all in our last life,” he went on, “I was drafted to fight in Vietnam right after I’d turned 18 and I died over there.” The scene of a car crash flashed across his find, and he knew she was thinking about how she’d died in that life. He finally stopped to see if she had anything to say. “So why can you remember all this, but I can’t.” She asked slowly. “Well, I’m not sure exactly how it works but I have a general idea. It’s the force that connects us and brings us back each time. When I died the first time, you cut yourself off from the force but it’s still in you. Which would be why you still come back, but you can’t remember anything from the past lives.” When she didn’t say anything, he added, “I know it’s a lot, but the force keeps bring us back together for a reason. I can’t help but think that the reason is that we’re supposed to be together.” She just stared at her coffee, “And how exactly did you find me this time?” He told her about how he’d been scrolling Instagram on the subway, and he’d seen her picture. How he’d looked up where she was living and made a plan to come here all in one night. “I know it sounds pretty creepy, but this was the longest I’ve lived without finding you, and I was starting to think I never would. This has been the only life time where there hasn’t been something in our way, and I think it’s a sign…” he was reaching his hand across the table to hold hers, when she pulled away and stood up. “Um, this is a lot to take in.” She was tugging on the hem of his shirt, suddenly self conscious of the fact that she was in her underwear. She walked back into the room, and when she emerged again she was back in her jeans and was stuffing her shirt in her purse. She pulled her boots on and grabbed her coat from the hook by the door, turning to face him again with her hand already on the knob. “I just need some time.” She said, not meeting his eyes. “Of course.” He replied. “Um, I’ll call you.” Was the last thing she said before heading out. The sound of her starting her car felt like his heart being shredded.


	10. Counting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been really struggling writing this chapter. I had no idea how I wanted to bring them back from Rey finding out about their past lives. I don't really know where I am going from here either. But hey, they're finally together lol

First he counted the days, and weeks that went by. Then the months. She still hadn’t called, hadn’t messaged, hadn’t come by to talk, nothing. He had seen her around town, and according to her instagram she’d gone on a trip with Rose and Kaydel in early October. She went to Rose’s parent’s house for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Ben had gone to visit his parents as well. His father hadn’t had much to offer on the subject, except a gruff muttering of “Women” and a shrug. “She’ll come around eventually. The longer you two are near each other, the stronger the bond will become. I don’t think it will ever be what it used to be, but she won’t be able to ignore it.” His mother had said. “I don’t know ma. I don’t want to be something she settles on so that she can have peace from it. That makes it sound like she’s my prisoner or something.” Leia was washing the dishes while Ben dried and put them away. “I don’t mean it like that. Eventually, she will be able to see and feel the feelings she had for you all this time. You’re still having flashbacks at night, right?”, “Yeah,” he responded. “Then she is having them too. She can’t deny what is right in front of her face.” Ben rubbed his face, exhausted by it all, “I just wish she’d found out in a different way. Not like this. She wasn’t ready for it all at once.”

September, October, November, January, February, March, April, seven months. Seven months went by with no response from Rey. He wanted to give her space, but in the last month alone the flashbacks had become the most intense they had ever been. It was like lucid dreaming. Ben could move around in the dream, and talk, like he was really there. He knew Rey had to be having the same experience. Finally, he sent her a message. He had to talk to her. _Hi, I understand that you are upset with me for keeping the truth from you. Or you may not even believe that what I told you was the truth. But if you are having the same flashbacks I am, we need to talk. They’re not going to stop, Rey. Please understand that I am not doing this to you on purpose. If I could stop the dreams, I would. Can we please meet for coffee? Tomorrow morning since Evergreen will be closed?_ He read the message over and over. Was it right, how would she perceive it, would she even open it? He hit send, and sent up a silent prayer. She left it unread for several hours, she’d probably been at work. And then the read receipt turned on. She left it on read until the morning. She’d probably consulted Rose about what she should say. _Lucy’s @ 10_ was all she sent back.

Ben was early the next morning, ordering for the both of them and giving himself time to calm his nerves before she actually showed up. What was he actually going to say to her? He’d hadn’t thought she’d even answer the message, let alone agree to meet. She walked in, stomping the spring rain off her shoes, and scanned the diner for him. Her hair had grown several inches, and she wore it down and in loose waves. She was a bit more dressed up than she usually had been. She was wearing an ironed blouse, some nice jeans, and flats. He wondered where she was going after this that required her to look so professional. “Good morning,” he stood up when she got closer, unsure how to greet her now. It was almost like they were starting over. She just nodded and sat down. When she noticed the latte he’d already ordered for her, she looked a little panicked. A thought flashed through both of their minds, too fast for him to register what it really was but it left him feeling hollow in his chest. “Um, I hope you don’t mind. I just got you a vanilla late. I assumed that was a safe bet…” he trailed off when she pushed it away. “Listen,” she started, “I don’t really know why I came. But I do have to be somewhat quick. I do actually have to be at Evergreen after this.”, “You look a bit formal for that.” He prodded. She furrowed her brow, obviously annoyed. “Well, business has been really good the past few months and I was actually able to hire a real staff. So I do have to look the part of a boss.” Of course, how could he forget. Evergreen books had started a new project that included offering ebooks, online ordering, and eventually bringing in more of the more popular titles. He explained to her that he’d also been busy. The new branch had been announced, and he’d had a few clients and cases but didn’t have a separate office yet. She’d been prospering the past few months without him and he felt his heart sink. He wanted to tell her that this was a mistake and walk out. She was going great, and he could barely find the will to get out of bed some days. “So I’ve been doing some research, and I’ve decided that you’re telling the truth. I still don’t like it, or even fully understand it yet, but I believe you.” She paused, “I also don’t know if I agree with the fact that we’re soulmates.” There was a punch in his gut. He knew they were though. They were a dyad in the force, they were two parts of the same whole. He didn’t interrupt her though, “I will admit that I was catching feelings for you. But I think it’s a bit unfair that you knew everything about me already and where able to use that to get me to like you.” He spoke up now, “Wait a minute, I did not know everything about you and used it to get you to like me. Each of our lives has been different, we’ve been different people every time. Just because I knew something about you in the past doesn’t mean it’s true now.” He was getting warm, frustrated that she’d been think about him like he was some kind of controlling predator. She stared at him, “For example,” he went on to prove his point, “ in the 40s you hated coffee. You only drank tea. And I know for a fact that now you hate tea. And in the south you wanted to be an artist, but that’s not your dream now.” He huffed, and sipped his coffee hoping that he hadn’t gotten too loud. “I didn’t realize that.” She pulled her latte back over now and drank. He contemplated a moment before he reached over and took her hand in his own. “The only thing I knew about you was your name, and the general area where you where. I had to figure out everything else on my own. I might have already…” he paused, wondering if he should really say this, and then decided it couldn’t get any worse, “I might have already loved you, but I ha’ve had to get to know you all over again every single time. I’ve gotten to fall in love with you over and over. And I think you and I both know that any feelings you developed were your own.” They sat there and finished their coffees before she motioned for the waitress to bring the check. She tried to lay down her card before he snatched the bill, laughing at her, “You should know better than that.”

They both walked back to her car, and she stood by the door staring at her feet. “Do you have anywhere to be today?” She asked, looking up at him. He checked the calendar on his phone, “No, nothing.” She nodded her head toward the passenger side, “I want to show you something. It’s my new favorite place.” They rode for almost three hours with the radio on in the background. He let her talk, about the new employees, the holiday with Rose and her parents, this guy that she and Kaydel had tried to set her up with, how she’d finally confronted Finn and told him she she forgave him. He was proud of her. She’d accomplished a lot in a short amount of time. Eventually they pulled into a parking lot by the edge of the woods. There were several trails that broke off into the trees. They got out and Rey grabbed a bag of the trunk, pointed to the public bathrooms and said she’d be right back. She came out changed into thick leggings, hiking boots, and a sweatshirt. Ben’s own wardrobe had changed gradually over the months and now he was glad. He’d worn jeans, a button up flannel, and a rain jacket that day. His mom called him a “mountain man” now. She was pulling her hair back into a scrunchy ponytail and started down a trail that looked like no one had ever used. Unlike the others where the shrubbery had been beaten back into submission, this one had leaves and fallen branches every few steps. They had to walk single file because the makeshift path was so skinny. Eventually, if he looked over Rey’s head in front of him he could see the horizon and where it met the ocean. Both where a dull grey, and you’d think they where the same entity if it weren’t for the white foamy waves. They exited the trees into a meadowy clearing that ended with a cliff drop. Some one had put a log near the edge, a warning not to go any farther. Rey walked right up and sat on the log, and Ben joined her. The view was amazing. There was all kinds of boulders and small islands jutting up out of the water. It wasn’t like any beach he’d ever seen. The sand was grey and littered with rocks, and the line where the forrest ended and the beach started farther down the coast line was harsh. The air was cold, and the trees around them swayed slightly. It was windy but they where in a sort of bubble, shielded by the thick tree line around the meadow. Rey was sitting there next to him, just staring out at the water, “I like this place. It reminds me of somewhere else I’ve been, a long time ago.” His head snapped around to look at her. Had she been exploring her own memories? Was she remembering on her own? “Do you think all that time ago, when you said we were in space, was that our first life?” She asked, still watching the waves and the seagulls that glided past. He rested his hand over hers on the log, “I think so. I can never seem to remember farther back than that, and neither can my mom or uncle.” She leaned her head against his shoulder, and closed her eyes. Pictures started flashing in front of Ben’s eyes. A planet covered in ocean, grey and deep blue like this one, a rocky island, his uncle, little stone huts, waves crashing on mossy cliffs just like this one. He felt a tear slip down his cheek. She was remembering, and had been working on it on her own. He wrapped an arm around and pulled her closer so the snuggled against the cold. He pushed a memory her way too. One she’d never seen before. He was in a TIE, racing across deep space. They felt the feeling together, his heart pounding, his very soul mending, as he rushed to her aide on Exegol. She’d just turned him back to the light. Kylo Ren was dead, and Ben Solo was racing across the galaxy to help the girl he loved. He landed, and he fought his own knights to get to her. They faced Palpatine, he felt her die, and he crawled his way out of that hole. Then, something else she’d hadn’t seen before. He held her in his lap, close to his chest, and cried. He said a silent goodbye. Then he gave his life for her own. Tears streaming down her face and soaking his shoulder as Ben broke off the memory. He took her face in his hands, looking in her eyes. They told him everything her needed to know. _I never knew_. And just like that day, wonder of wonders, she kissed him. Without breaking away, they adjusted on the log to face each other. Ben snaked his arms around her and deepened the kiss. He’d waited so many lifetimes to have this again. He had to pull away though, his head was pounding and Rey was still crying. She was crying in pain though, holding her head. She collapsed to the grass and curled into a ball. Ben lifted her onto his lap and rocked her. He had a feeling he knew what was happening, just based on what he was feeling. She’d opened herself back up to the force completely. She was remembering everything. Really remembering, not just bits and pieces. Eventually she stopped shaking and her sobs quieted. Her brushed her hair away from her face where it had been clinging to her wet cheeks, and rubbed soft circles on her temples with his thumbs to ease the pressure away. He carried her bridal style back down the trail to the car. He had to smirk to himself as another time he’d done this almost exact same thing came to mind. The first time he’d seen her in person, and she’d shot at him.

After loading her back in the car, buckling her in, and getting the keys Ben drove them back the almost three hours home. The whole way back she clung to one of his hands while she slept, as if she was scared that if she let go he’d disappear. He carried her back into his house, and deposited her on his bed. He got her out a pair of sweats and one of his shirts. He left her in the room to change, telling her he was going to start dinner. She came out a few minutes later and sat down at the dining room table. Ben set a bowl of pasta in front of her, planting a kiss on the top of her head. They ate in a comfortable silence, both drained. After Rey had all but licked her bowl clean, she looked across the table at Ben, “Let’s go to bed.”


End file.
